(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
