I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
3pm strippers are depressing
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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