I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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