Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
