He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
