Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
