Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
