Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
