I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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