So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize