Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize