yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I still have a little drunk in my system
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
