i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
