The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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