I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
