You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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