dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
