come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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