his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize