He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He passed out mid-signature
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
