You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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