I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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