home. puking in laundry basket.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think your dad took our porno
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
