how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize