So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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