I feel great
I just peed on a car
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize