That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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