There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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