you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
