i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you win again, gameday.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
