i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
