I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
my liver is dry heaving
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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