you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
