uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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