You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i believe in u and ur pee
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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