I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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