your thong is hanging out like whoa
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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