Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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