Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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