Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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