when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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