That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
