just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
