Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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