I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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