one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize