That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
