So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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