my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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