At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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