This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize