That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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