why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
