I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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