It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
