We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize