I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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