So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
