And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
