I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
