I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
