that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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