Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
